Pivot & Go Cover
David Nurse

NBA Life Optimization Coach

Create Your Non-Negotiables


I can’t stress how important this is. This tip alone can be the difference in whether you have a happy marriage, if your kids grow up to be good human beings, and honestly if you have joy in your daily life. Yeah, it’s that powerful. By definition non-negotiable means: not open to discussion or modification. Discussion, that means it’s not even to be talked about. Not only is it not able to be changed but we don’t even talk about changing it. Yet, so many of us live our lives in the ‘negotiable.’ Instead of shutting off emails and work in the evening to spend time with our kids, we keep our laptop open just to get a little bit ahead. We have a dinner date planned with our wife, but an opportunity to meet a connect with a person we had been wanting to connect with for a while pops up. Date night over, wife second priority. You get what I mean. There are countless examples for this. If we allow our surroundings and others to dictate who we are, we open ourselves up for a whirlwind of out-of-controlness and chaos in our lives. Set your non-negotiables. And make them firm.

A list could look like this:
1. There is no such thing a quality time with your kids, there is just time (see more on this in the chapter There is No Such Thing as Quality Time)

2. There is no ‘right’ time to be with your kids, just make sure you are there with them! Carve out three hours every evening to spend talking to your kids, playing games together with them, just being with them. Date your significant other weekly. Keep pursuing your significant other. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean they don’t like a romantic dinner and alone time be affirmed in their love language.

3. All financial transactions over $100 discuss with your husband/wife Trust me on this, money can be a killer that drives married couples apart. But if you are both on the same page with decisions that are made in spending, the communication will drive a healthy relationship in this aspect.

These are just a few of the many non-negotiable options you can have. Make it a challenge to yourself to create your list of 5 non-negotiables. And stick by them. Not only will you be able to live your life with more peace and joy, the people around you will respect you more for having non-negotiables and placing value on where your time is spent. I’ve seen it happen too many times, when I share my non-negotiables with someone they immediately adopt the idea and implement it into their lives. You can do the same. Right now.

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