Pivot & Go Cover
David Nurse

NBA Life Optimization Coach

Episode 105- The Art of Charm – Never Be Awkward Again!

#105-  %1 Podcast - The Art Of Charm  -
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One percenters. Welcome back to another episode of the one percent podcast. I'll be your host today, David Nurse, like usual. Thank you for giving your time.

You could be anywhere else right now doing anything else, but you're here getting one percent better yourself. So you can pour into others one percent in this week on the podcast. We are going to learn the art of charm building genuine relationships, how to be a great communicator, building his self-confidence from age, a Harbinger and Johnny Zubac of the Art of Charm, the podcast, The Fame Art of Charm has been seen on NBC Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, Sirius XM, The Huffington Post, Time magazine and so much more.

Johnny and A.J. are going to give you ways to never feel awkward again if you're an introvert. You don't have to worry. You can build genuine relationships. You could strike up a conversation with anybody today. And we're going to learn that on this week's episode of the one percent podcast. So one percenters, buckle up, get your charm game on, because here we go. Super excited to share with you guys that my first book, Pivot and Go, is on presale.

Now, Amazon, David nurse dot com pivot and go. It's about making mindset pivot, small, slight changes in your perspective, little shifts that can change your entire perspective on life. It's based on twenty nine days. Twenty eight to make a habit. Twenty nine to make a lifestyle. There. Twenty nine chapters. Twenty nine mindset pivots that will absolutely add you coming out of there with extreme joy for the life you live. Passion for the mission you're on in.

Confidence in who you are. So would be awesome if you could support the book. Check it out. Let me know what you think. I'm going to be sending out a free autographed copy in the next month as well. It's on Amazon Presale. It's our David Nurse dot com pivot and go.

All right, A.J., and of the art of charm. Welcome to the one percent podcast. Starts off with a bang. Both you guys individually tell us something. Maybe the audience doesn't know about you guys.

I think for me, probably the shocking thing for the audience at this point is that I'm a just foodie through and through and a fantastic chef. And this quarantine is giving me ample time to practice my cooking. And my fiancee has been the biggest benefactor of that.

Tell me what you're cooking. What's your go to meals? All that good stuff. Well, right now, I'm I'm trying to master roasting a chicken. So I've been looking into the research behind French style cooking and how to get that crispy skin but that juicy inside. So that's been the biggest one for me. Through quarantine over the last few years, though, I have taught myself SUV. Smoking meats, you name it. I try to master a technique, I think that has a lot to do with my former life as a scientist, living in the lab, loving those experiments.

So it allows me to work with my hands and create some experiments in the kitchen.

You know what? Whenever you say French and SUV in the same sense of cooking, like I know you know what you're doing. I was waiting for you to say air, fryer, microwave, kind of like I'm doing. So you're your step ahead. What about your journey? What you got rolling?

You know, that's an odd question for me, is I, I, I tend to think that I wear my influences and who I am on my sleeve. And though I think for a lot of people, when they first see me, they think of the rock and roll or the guy who has played all the venues here in Hollywood and who has lived that life and is also has taken time to discover himself and self development. But I would say that probably people wouldn't know how far I've put myself in the self development and philosophy and psychology.

I tend to geek out on it. A lot of my my we were laughing about, you know, what was in our Facebook feed earlier. I tend to geek out on lectures, fill philosophical lectures and psychology. Lectures are my favorite go to. And I just. The Internet and being able to have access to all those classrooms and all those lectures is wonderful. It's amazing. And I spend a lot of time surfing that stuff.

I love the lander. Ten eighty. Johnny. Now I'm working on that.

That's deep philosophical stuff. 10, 80. I love it. I love it, Johnny. And when I asked a question about how do you continue to learn and grow later on. I'm expecting some fire from you because I must. I love stealing from my guests. Some must steal some Aristotle from me or something.

So life life is about being able to adjust to situations that happen to us and everybody has to make a pivot in their life. Like my pivot was believed and I thought I was going to play in the NBA at six two and unable to touch the rim. I thought I was NBA bound, but I did realize my pivot was coaching and now plane would have been the pivots. And your guys like that have led you to where you are today?

Absolutely. The biggest pivot for me was out of science and into personal development and coaching. So I hit a brick wall in my P.H. D studies where my social skills were impacting not only my internal happiness, but also the respect that I wasn't getting in the lab and my inability to connect with my lab mates to persuade them, influence them and ultimately get my research funded. And it led me down this journey of trying to figure out how to be more confident, how to be more charismatic, which we'll get into in a little bit here.

But, you know, I was just staying on the path that my family told me would make me successful. I loved science growing up. Tested well in it and got myself a biology degree and thought I was going to be a doctor. Then started to fall in love with research, slightly pivoted into research. And I thought that was going to be my career and certainly make my family proud, becoming a doctor. But really, I didn't realize the influence that relationships and social skills have on your career.

And growing up thinking that just hard work and effort would pay off in the end. I realized that there is this invisible game going on around us in every facet of your life, and it's all about who you know and how you're able to build those connections. And I didn't have those skills and I certainly wasn't born with the network. My dad was an introvert, so I felt really limited in that area. And I had to make a pivot to one, understand myself better gain these skills and to find happiness that I wasn't finding in the lab.

You could have fooled me. You are very well-spoken. I would have never, never guessed that. But it's such a great answer for people to hear as you wanted to do what other people wanted for you and what you wanted to do, but what others wanted of you. And hey, you know, you don't sometimes like. So I say if you're too smart. Not always good socially, but maybe that's how you were. But you can adjust that.

So anybody out there listening, you can work on these skills and you guys have mastered those skills. We'll talk about it a little bit before we do. Johnny, hit us with your pivot that you find to go through.

Yeah. For myself. David, much like your position. I grew up very early knowing what I wanted to do with my life, which was the play music my dad played in bands. He was a factory guy. But on the weekends I would watch my mom and him get gussied up to go to the show, the corner bar where he was playing. Growing up in a household where they rehearsed in the basement. Music was a big part of my household.

It was always on and seeing my dad carrying that guitar. Of course, a young man is going to want to see that and connect those dots and take on after his father. And I just enjoy seeing that and everything that came with it. The ritual of waiting for the records of your favorite artists to come out, finally get those records, bring them home, laying on the floor, blasting him on the stereo, staring at them while you read every word, every song.

And as I grew up, I put everything that I had into music. And I was already putting bands together in high school trying to find underage places that would allow us to play. We convinced the corner bar to let us do an under 21 night on Sunday afternoons and everything was about that. And of course, this was late 90s. I found myself in North Carolina. The college circuit and music scene was was a big thing at the time.

And I found myself in the Southeast music circuit, RDM Black Crowes driving and crying. Those kind of bands. And it was great. I was hanging out hardy and in bands with people that I had been listening to that that I remember getting their records at here. I was in that in that scene. But then the music industry started to change.

And in the late 90s, everything was not only it was changing, it was rapidly changing to a degree that it was becoming unrecognizable and it was unrecognizable at the time. And in looking forward, it was. No one had any idea what it was going to be. And at the late 90s, I mean, we're we're we're talking about MySpace, where we're talking about Livewire Wire. We're talking about Friendster. No one could even foresee what was coming down the road, let alone what was going to happen for the music industry.

By the time the 2000s, we were, well, moving. Everything that I had grown up wanting to be a part of that was gone was I felt as if the rug pulled out from under me and I had to make a decision of I just spent the last 10 years of my life putting everything into music and now it's gone. At least what I wanted to be a part of. So I turned to self development as an opportunity to get to know myself because I had a lot of hard questions that needed hard answers.

And with that, I'm I'm a pretty obsessive person. A.J. can attest to that. So one obsession just went into the next one. And I really enjoyed self development. I got a kick out of it. I've devoted every waking moment of it. I just wanted to be around people who were all about it. I wanted to see everything that I could grow and become using the implemented strategies that I had learned about having those results, wanting to help other people who were getting in to self development.

And then from there, it had led itself into a career and met all the wow. I had never had to let go of music much like yourself. I had found myself continuing to play music at a high level. When I moved to New York, I was in bands they're playing when we moved out to Los Angeles. I was in bands out here playing. So always being able to continue doing both of the things that I truly loved at a level that was incredibly gratifying.

I never felt that I had to really give one up for the other. And lucky to do both at such a level.

That's great. I love the self development. Just nurdin out about it. That's. You are one percenter. I mean, that's the one percenter to the max is continually improving yourself in all areas. And you say that you went through 10 years and then of music and then had to pivot on. But I'm sure over those 10 years you learn things that are absolutely helping you today in what you do 100 percent.

And it's funny, I have I will always have this band rock and roll lens, in which I view a lot of of a lot of life with it has served bass. It has served me very well. And one of those aspects is when you look at bands like The Ramones or The Clash, these were young kids who did not know how to play their instrument, but they decided that they were going to do a band anyway and they were going to learn by throwing themselves on the stage and being awful.

And they've made careers from learning, by doing. And so for me, there was never any hurdle of what I needed to know or understand about self development as a point of entry. It was I am going to brashly just dump myself into it and and take it on and learn it in the ring. That's great.

It's speaking it into existence, learning by doing and literally ready, fire aim. That's a mindset I absolutely love. And you guys have built just to inspire the art of charm. I've been a big fan of you guys for a long time and how you are. It's not just a passion of your guys, but it's helping a lot of people. And like A.J. can attest to the confidence, Gene. The charismatic gene is something a lot of people think you're just born with, but it can be developed.

And I teach MBA players how to develop it. But you teach everyone how to do it. Is there like a blueprint that you guys use? I know everybody's different, of course, but is there certain things you really look at you like? Here is how you can develop ultimate confidence.

Well, much like anything in life, we have to reset our mindset first. And a lot of us, when we think about confidence or charisma. We think about someone else. And we pine about the skills that they have. And we see them and elevate them in a different light. And a lot of times that automatically puts us a step back because we're not thinking about how we can improve. Just looking at other people in their journeys. And we're all on different journeys.

Some of us had a fortune of picking it up in our household. Parents who are charismatic and confident and well-spoken, who you could mimic and learn from. And then some of us are forced through life experiences to be put in these positions where you really lean in and get those skills.

But for us, it's twofold. First off, communication starts with your body language. And many of us, much like I'm sure the athletes you work with. We don't know what we look like in terms of non verbals. We don't know what our shot looks like. We just know it from our lens. So that's one of the first things that we do with all of our clients, is we we film them. So they get an accurate representation of themselves, of where they're starting from.

And a lot of times you realize, well, you're already doing some things right. You're not starting from zero. So it's not about completely washing away the board. It's saying, OK, how can we lean into our strengths and how can we start developing out some of these weak areas? And for a lot of us who are feeling like, oh, we're not charismatic or we're not confident. Well, if we're already feeling it, other people are feeling it, too.

So this the second side of it is we got to look at the mindset and we've got to look at the story we're telling ourselves. And unfortunately, a lot of us are living in the past. We're holding on to negative experiences and creating a story in a narrative for ourself that's not grounded in reality. And what Jonny and I try to do with all of our clients is look at that story that we're telling ourselves. Look at those beliefs that are influencing our behaviors and actions and question them and look at them from all angles.

And for a lot of our clients, they'll realize, well, you know, maybe there was another perspective that I could take about that event in life. Maybe it wasn't that that person was laughing at me. Maybe their friend told a good joke. And I know Johnny has a great analogy, how we often take these experiences and we hold onto them and we make them about our selves because we're the lone star of our movie. But if we look at these past experiences and start to change our narrative, we can restructure our beliefs and start changing our actions.

And of course, that will lead to different outcomes.

There's a lot of gold in that, A.J. unpacking a little bit like how you say lean into our strengths. So many people will focus on their weaknesses and think that's who they are, defined by their weaknesses. But we're defined by our strengths. And then up in your weaknesses, the story we tell ourselves is the overall body language that we show off. It's so powerful, so powerful in setting the stage of you're going to walk into a room, into a meeting, onto the court.

And people are just going to. So you're confident yourself, because you have true self awareness of who you are? I'll just add that people will respond differently to you based on how you walk in that room. So it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And that fake it till you make it as a principle. If we send the right signals, even internally, we may not be feeling confident. But if we send the right signals of confidence, we walk in that room.

People are going to treat us as though we're confident and it's going to allow us to lean into that confidence versus walking in the room weak sheepishly. Well, people are going to view us as lacking in confidence. They're going to treat us differently.

Yeah. The first step is having to decide. I'm confident and saying it, saying I'm confident when I go in there. I love that. Johnny, you know, A.J. was stealing some of your analogies. Give anything to build on that.

Well, absolutely. And much like success coaching, much like sports coaching, everyone has to get to a point where they can admit that they can do it, that they can learn it, that that they're they're open to the idea of being coached in order to achieve something that they're looking to get. And it has to start with how you were raised and understanding that no matter how you were raised, there is going to be positives and negatives to that environment.

If you were raised in a household where you had everything handed to you and and catered to you and you were protected, then you're going to have difficulty with struggle because you never had to deal with that as a child. If you were raised in a household that focused on academics, well, then you're going to be missing out on probably some of the hand eye coordination that some of the other kids had learned. If you grew up in a household that was focused on athletics, well, then perhaps some of the algebra and some of the other things have been passed by you because you had been focused on what was supported in that household.

I grew up in a very arty household where it was. I got so much positive attention for picking up guitars, for painting, for all of that type of stuff. Why else would I start looking else where when I was already getting attention in these areas? So once you acknowledge that, you can accept. OK. I've been focusing on these other areas. So now let's open the doors to some of these other areas. It's not that that I can't learn them or that I'm a uncapable.

It's that I have never applied myself to these. So let's open the doors and let's be open to small, attainable goals that allow us to know that we're moving in the right direction and that we are capable of learning some of these things. The only time that we tell ourselves that we write that story, that this is not us or we can't learn it is from that fear of of opening ourselves up to it and and failing. And no one likes that that feeling.

So we tend to hide that with whatever excuses or cognitive distortions allow us to feel good in that moment.

The high cost sounds so much like working with NBA players and with athletes the same thing. It's like the fear is a thing. Holding the back is cut loose. Let go. The worst thing that can happen is you're going to, I guess, fail, but you gonna be right where you started anyways. And I think I've heard it before that 98 percent of worst case scenario thinking doesn't actually end up happening. But yet we live in that 98 percent all the time.

Blows my mind.

How many of us are. Best case scenario. Thinking, actually visualizing things. Working out, man.

Visualization that is so real. Every morning I have affirmations. I know I told you guys about those affirmations that I'm speaking life into myself. I'm confident as it is, but I need to continue to do that. It's just like it's a daily habit that we all have to work. That dark side of us tries to tell us we're not good enough or we can't do it.

A lot of our parents, I mean, they're going to groom us and do what they want us to be and they're going to give us the positive reinforcement to follow those paths. So, you know, it is difficult when you're looking at trying to do other things and they're gonna be disapproving. You're not going to get that positive reinforcement that you get in other areas, that positive reinforcement. It disperses oxytocin and dopamine allows us to feel good. I mean, we we end up learning to to follow that for the rest of our lives.

We have to then be open to looking into other areas, our life where that positive reinforcement. We have to find it on our own. And that's difficult.

Johnny, that's an amazing point that leads us into what we're going to talk about next. Relationship building. But you like we're talking about. We want that reinforcement from our parents. It's like saying, am I going to listen to my mom for advice in every single area? Is she an expert at every single area? I love my mom and sure, she's great, but I'm not going to ask her business advice or investment advice. And and that's the power in building relationships and what I call having a golden fifteen.

No. One, you have somebody in every area of your life that can help you out. I mean, obviously being genuine, not the dirty networking type of stuff, as you guys know to. But how is I mean, it comes down to confidence in yourself, the self-awareness. And then how you deal with others, how you build relationships. And you guys talk a lot about that on the art of charm and building. And you talked about that earlier, A.J., about the importance of building genuine relationships.

You guys have a step by step or a blueprint or some some talking points on how you guys go about that.

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One percenters have a huge, big time discount code. Check this out. The links will be in the show. Notes on how to do that if you want to sleep better, if you really want to have great sleep, which we all do. This is the answer. Yeah, absolutely, and it's really the core principle that drives everything that we teach the art of charm, and it's all around the concept of giving value in order to bring in a new relationship, to create a new connection, to find that mentor.

We need to be adding to other people's lives. And unfortunately, a lot of us start by thinking, well, what can I get from this other person and how can I take what I need to get ahead? And in reality, when you set yourself up in that position to be a taker instead of a giver, you're going to find that you attract the wrong type of person and you're going to find a lot of dissatisfaction when you don't get what you actually want.

So we have to let go of that outcome and let go of looking at exactly as you're saying, the transactional networker, the opportunistic networker who's only looking for what's in it for me. And if that person doesn't have anything to give them all, they'll move on to the next opportunity. When we talk about giving value, we define value as really three basic human wants and needs attention, acceptance and appreciation. Attention is very easy. It's why we're on social media.

It's those hearts that we're chasing those thumbs up or that we're chasing that one. Right now, we live in the attention economy, but a lot of us are very frugal with our attention. We're giving it to our devices were maybe giving it to our significant other our spouses, our best friends. But when it comes to meeting people, we talk about boring small talk or just not paying enough attention. We're not investing enough in the other person to move beyond that small talk.

And that's why it's boring and that's why we hate it. So putting your phone away, being fully present with someone. It not only makes you charismatic, but it fulfills that human need. And the other person of having that attention, where they remember that they remember you for the right reasons. The second thing that I talked about in terms of giving value is actually acceptance. And that's when we welcome people into our tribe. We invite them to do things with us, to participate in things, to help us out, to allow them to feel like, OK, well, I'm part of something.

I'm joining a community. And it also signifies that you like that person. And a lot of us don't speak that well. We like someone we we are afraid that they're going to reject us so we don't actually accept them. And the last appreciation goes even deeper. And appreciation is really celebrating other people for their victories and their wins and what matters in their life. And you have to listen on a deep level. You have to have some empathy and emotional intelligence to get to that level of giving value.

But when when you are giving attention and accepting people in your life and appreciating those around you, then more people are going to want your time.

You're going to set yourself up to create more networks and connections and you can even handle. And unfortunately, a lot of us stop at the first level of just attention and we get preoccupied and we go, well, this there's nothing this person can give me or oh, that's boring. I don't want to talk about that. And I put my attention back to myself. I start thinking about something else in my life instead of being present in the conversation.

And then we struggle to make those connections and build that network that we're after. Love it.

Give, give, give. Without expecting anything. Return and everything comes back to you. And I really I really love the point that you made about being fully present, because that's one of the biggest challenges for myself and a lot of us in this era that we live in. And I heard something that said in every conversation that you're in. Be curious if you can go into a conversation and be curious about something they're talking about. You're going to pay attention.

So I try to take that mindset into this. It's great. I love how you go step by step, attention, acceptance, appreciation and celebrate others. Like one of the hardest things to do is see others have success, especially in your field, and genuinely celebrate them. But you're right. You're right that you have to get to that point where you're just going to drive yourself absolutely nuts. So good.

Something to add to that when you hear what AJ had just laid out. Many people get in their mind. I've got it. Give. Be a giver, OK? I'm just going to start doing that. That is something that has to be learned and cultivated within yourself from the inside out. We have been living in such a way of how we process decision making, our emotions. And the older we are, the more we're set in stone and how those mechanisms work when you are trying to change yourself so that you can be able to celebrate the people around you, which is a very difficult thing.

It's not something you're just going to turn on. We're talking about I always use this analogy of this barreling locomotive that is barreling down the tracks. You're just not going to stop it and get it going in the other direction. This locomotive needs slowed down before it even stops and then be. Slowly starts moving in the other direction. That sounds like a lot of work, but once you get it moving in the other direction, it only picks up steam.

And this is why so many people get frustrated with the idea of I'm going to be this new value giving person. And they get frustrated and burn themselves out within a few days or a week because it is a lot of work. This is all brand new. These are behaviors and emotions and mindsets that you haven't used. And now you're where tried to string all of them together to make a different person. That's going to take time. This is where people need to have a lot of self compassion for learning and cultivating these new mindsets of behaviors.

It's great. It's building those habits. And it's not because not being overwhelmed with when something doesn't work right away that you just give up and it's me once again, right on the one percent mindset. You were just like I set you up for these and you're hitting these on point.

But it. What's that? Ali, Ali, you Japanese is basketball my lob city out here at L.A..

Love it. Well, we talk about confidence and building relationships and it's you guys have been very well versed in it and are some of the best, best at being able to teach it. But what drives you guys? What drives you to get up every morning and hop out of bed and just be ready to attack the day? Like what? What is your what is your non coffee. Coffee?

Well, we both have it tattooed on our body. So it's a mantra here at the art charm that we talk about. And everything that you want in life is through resistance. It's the hard things. It's putting in the work. It's not the easy path. And as Johnny was saying, that Lokomotiv going in one direction, you know, we all live in our comfort zone. And these are habits and patterns in our behavior that have built up over time that allow us to feel safe and secure and allow us a level of self acceptance and self-worth.

And unfortunately, everything that you truly want, that leads to happiness that we've heard from the countless psychologists we've had on the show and our own journeys comes through outside of that comfort zone, efforts and energies placed on the hard things, the difficult things. And we call this be over a. And it's understanding that in order to rewrite those patterns of behaviors, it involves neuroplasticity. It involves wiring your brain to fire in new ways. And in order to do that.

The first few times you try anything new outside of that comfort zone, it's going to be incredibly difficult. It's going to feel incredibly challenging and hard and foreign and new and new sensations and new emotions. But if you push through and you choose be the harder path over a the easy path, the well-worn path, then those things that other people aspire to will start to unlock it in your life. And people, again, will resonate with that and they will get behind you and propel you forward.

So instead of looking to take from other people, you become that beacon that brings in the right people and allows them to support you on your journey.

That's great. And that is what I call surviving or stari thriving over surviving. We're not just getting through these times, but we're using these difficult adverse resistance times to actually thrive. And I love to talk about getting out of your comfort zone. That's the only way to grow. Because when you look at anybody that's done anything in the world, they've always gone through some kind of difficult challenge. And yet most of us still think we can do it without that.

It's just gonna be handed to us in a many, many difficult challenge in many different cities. It's gonna suck the first time you do it. I mean, I've been thoroughly enjoying the last dance and the Jordan documentary. You look at Jordan and even in the middle of his career, going through the hardship and the loss and changing sports, the jumping back in and still losing. And we look at these people that we aspire to. We marked as great as as just extraordinary.

Greatest of all time. And they still have adversity. So who are we to think that we just sit here in our comfort zone and get everything that we want? Yeah.

And think about it. I didn't realize it took Jordan eight years to win his first championship. Like, we all look at Jordan as his great NBA champion winning all these rings. Eight years is a long time.

Yeah. For the officers.

Let's you look at LeBron. How long would it take him? Championships are not handed to you and your rookie season.

Exactly. And before we hop into mindset quotes, I got one you probably heard that goes right along with that is there's no traffic jam on the extra mile. It's one of my favorites. It's about putting in that extra work that other people aren't willing to do, the unseen hours. So it's so good. What about you, Johnny? What it what what drives you to get out of bed every morning?

Just crush the day to go along with what AJ was saying is to be able to turn the hard things in to fun and what you gotta do to be able to do that. If you're doing a new task or something that's difficult. You have to break it down in this small obtainable pieces and find enjoyment and the smallest of things for myself during Christmas break. AJ had asked me to look at social media. We hadn't been doing all that well with it.

And we come from the mindset of the shows like growing. The show is dying, right? We want to get out there. We want to work on these things. And I had both of us, I think, had an aversion to social media is another thing that I don't want to get sucked in to on the Internet. I have enough for those things. However, AJ had asked me to look at do it over Christmas break. Oh, I was.

I wasn't going anywhere. And so I was like, no problem. And he had sent me this back by with Gary V. I was like, how to make sixty four pieces of content. And one day now I opened this thing, I was like, no problem. And I get through two pieces and I just. I get overwhelmed. I get frustrated. I want to throw my computer out the window. And A.J. and I talked and he's like, listen, it's all then Gary.

He's back. I hope I'm not. I don't know social media at all. So whipping out 64 pieces that come on multiple platforms and I don't play on is difficult. Let me just. Dick around with one. So I had taken over Twitter and I relentlessly just started beating on it every day just with no strategy, just reckless abandon and just to see what would happen and start getting feedback. And lo and behold, many people started reaching out, showing me things shot, solving all the work that I was putting into it, seeing a bunch of work that was was for nothing, or if some would say, being efficient.

And one guy had actually hit me up and he he's like, listen, I see what you're doing. I just wanted to reach out to I want to know what your strategy was.

And I guess strategy of, like, I don't have a strategy is like, oh, thank God, because I thought you knew something that I did. He goes, do you have a few minutes? Let me sit you down and help you with that. So I was like, right on. And it was through those efforts that other people came to wanting to help. And, of course, wanting to give back to all of those people. And it is that same strategy that I started moving into other areas to messing with with those social media platforms as a way to try to get that you're not going to get anything done by reading every blog.

You're not going to get everything done by thinking about a strategy. You're going to get things done by going recklessly. And just give it all you can, because the feedback is what you're going to need for you to be able to course. Correct. Without it, it's all hypothetical. It's all speculative, and it's all for nothing.

Can't you just gotta get your hands dirty and just go? So many people just wait till the bow is so perfect or everything is just so in line. And then some other little change. Come, just go. Oh, I love that so much.

And then for myself, it's like, all right, A.J., in the morning and be like, here's these small wins. Like we're moving in the right direction. It's like, oh, well, great. Now that we have an idea how that works, let's put a little bit more resources behind that and see where it takes us. And we use that feedback to determine the directions that we're going to put those resources in. But without it, it's all speculative.

It's all for nothing. And you have to be able to celebrate those those those small number. Good.

That's so good. Celebrate the little wins like you guys mindset is just on point with me. It's like you should have wrote the book, Pivot and go yourselves. It's perfect in eight. Johnny, I'm impressed you got into Twitter. I mean, you gave up MySpace and you got into Twitter. Yeah.

So it's it's a talent, man. Ten years to become an overnight success. You know, it got three guys on the rapid fire hotseat. So whatever comes to your mind, spit it out. We'll start with you, A.J. is it's the mode we've been going in. Do you have a favorite mindset, quote, that you live by something on your fridge tattooed on your body?

Well, outside of B over A. Which is tattooed legacy is greater than currency. And it's something that I try to remind myself of, especially in the Downs. And obviously, through quarantine in our life being turned upside down, it can be difficult at times when everyone seems to be measuring themselves based on currency.

But realizing that at the end of the day, when you're giving in, you're changing people's lives.

That is what lasts. It's not the numbers and sense in your bank account. So when I'm faced with a challenge, when I'm feeling down about myself or feeling the struggle, which we all feel, I think back to the legacy that I'm creating. And that comes through the lives that are changed from the listeners to the show, the participants in our coaching programs. And just literally over the last decade of working with thousands of clients who, much like myself, struggled in that charisma and confidence department and felt like they were being held back in their career, held back from the relationships that they want, and understanding that you can learn these things for a long period in my life, especially through my 20s.

I just thought I had to play the hand I was dealt. The shy, introverted guy who didn't really make an impact and going through the transformation on the other side. I just remind myself that that legacy is greater than currency.

That's good. So good, Johnny. So there is the author. I like his name's Howard Bloom. And ever since I read this quote, it's one that I live by. A.J. hears me say it all the time, which is the truth at any price, including the price of your life. And the reason I say that is that you quickly learned that everyone that you know in your life, including your loved ones, are going to lie to you from one time or another, maybe because they feel it's the right thing for you or they don't want to hurt your feelings.

But regardless, we can all we can all sit in that fact that everyone is going to lie to you at some point. However, there's one person that lies to you more than anybody and it's yourself. And you need to be able to question the thoughts that you're telling yourself, because there lies all the answers.

Yes. Kay, next one I got for you, A.J., you already set this one up perfectly. What does legacy mean to you leaving a legacy? Not necessarily what's on a billboard, but what is legacy to you?

Legacy to me is what's sad when you leave the room. It's what is said not to your face, but it's how people feel. And I think in general, it can be difficult at times. Again, it forces you to choose the hard things. But for me, that's being a person of integrity, being honest. As Johnnie said, not only with myself, but those around me. And that's what's made me a good coach. A good business partner.

And I think ultimately it's going to make me a great spouse in understanding that I have to be honest and I have to show up for people. And when you do those things, everything else falls into place.

Spot on. Love it, Johnny.

I think this goes back to what we were talking about earlier of what are you going to do? There is no legacy. If you just continue to hypothetically think about your what you're going to do and how you're going to do it. It's about the work that you put in and that will be left there. People will take notice, even if your work as man, that guy ride as much as as hard as he could, that there is a legacy that's going to teach a lot of people the act of perseverance and resilience.

So laying it out there, putting it out there you cannot care about. That's how everyone is going to perceive the work that you want to leave.

It's great spot on. I agree with that for sure. Okay. If there's one person in history that you could hang out with for a day, who would that be? I guess it could be alive or dead. My answer I'll give you is definitely Larry David.

I would love to hang out with him. OK.

Who you guys guy was not expecting that being a basketball or I. For me, it's Benjamin Franklin. And it's one I just feel like. Twenty four hours spent with them. I would learn a lifetime. And my passion for engineering, ingenuity, invention and so many of his one liners in quotes have just resonated with me over the years. And I know we've talked about the Benjamin Franklin effect on the show. I just think in general, he's one of those remarkable people that twenty four hours with is bound to change your life.

Love it. There's so many.

But as of right now, considering what happened over the weekend, it's gonna be Little Richard right now. The man had broken every barrier that there was when it came to music, rock and roll raise.

Everything I mean, to be a gay black man do plays like that from the church in Macon, Georgia. And to do what he did in the time that he had done it. He didn't leave any and he didn't leave any barrier up. And once he crossed that he towards STEM, I mean, the rest of the trails were where easy for anybody else after he rolled through to great.

Once you guys blew a Larry David. All right. See, here's number two for me, OK, here. That would be quite fun.

It's one of the best shows there is Curb Your Enthusiasm. Absolutely. In everybody's binge, in every single show possible during this time, which is if you haven't seen Schitt's Creek, you need to check that one out at once. We could talk about that later, but I haven't finished, Johnny.

And you can't forget Seinfeld.

I mean, classic. Absolutely. No doubt. Guys, how can we all follow everything you're doing? Everything at the art of charm. Obviously, the podcast Web site. How can we follow? All you're doing on Twitter, Johnny, or every every day you guys go?

I'm using the the front end handling's social. So if you jump on any of our social, you'll be chatting with usually me. And then also for fun. I go live every weekday morning at eight, 30. Chime on Twitter, Periscope and YouTube. And I'm giving daily ponder ends, chatting about topical news items from a self development and psychology lens. That's great.

I'm going to D.M.. You like crazy when you're on there. Eight thirty. Got it marked down. What does the final question I have for you guys. Before I let you off the one percent podcast in the Hotsy, what does being a one percenter mean to you? To me, it's focusing on what is that then you can do better each and every day. And sometimes those gains will be huge. And a lot of times those gains will be very small, but it is truly the compounding effect.

And those people who understand or I'm saying are nodding along when you factor in compounding, whether it's interests, whether it's knowledge, it is small gains over the long haul that lead to huge payoffs. And you can look at all of these successes that we look at as overnight successes. People have got to and they're all products and results of the compounding effect, whether it's Bill Gates, whether it's Steve Jobs, whether it's Elon Musk. It's that little improvement each and every day that leads to the large payoffs we're all looking for.

So good being patient and persistent. Compounding effects. So good.

Yeah. I'm certainly not. I've never had that at agent. I thought you just going to say your name. I mean, you've been throwing all these one percent steps into personal improvement nuts. That's a great answer. That spot on important to yourself, one percent daily so you can pour into others. You guys are absolute lights. I could talk to you guys all day long. Just get juiced up about it.

Thank you so much for coming on the one percent podcast, sharing your knowledge, confidence, relationships and just overall personal growth. You guys are awesome. Thank you for having this, brother. Thank you. And that's a wrap on this week's episode of the one percent podcast.

Thank you so much for giving your time to me and listening to the one percent podcast without you. None of this would be possible. The feedback, the reviews, the ratings you give. This podcast helped to grow the audience in the reach for us to be able to bring on new guests each week and provide that one percent daily steps we can all implement from top NBA players, high performers and just from amazing people doing amazing things to better this world.

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App on your phone. Five stars. If you'd love it. One star, of course, if you hate it and leave a comment of what you liked about it or questions. Suggestions that you might have post on social media. Take me, David Nurse NBA and I will repost the reviews. The podcast. Kids shout you out personally for sure. Thank you so much for being the best community, the best family, the best one percent squad. So blessed for all of you out there.

Now, go out there today, speak a word of encouragement to someone. You can make a difference.

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